


shove me, kiss me, shoot me

by penelopebuncesglasses (poeticnuisance)



Category: Carry On Series - Rainbow Rowell
Genre: Fluff, Laser Tag, M/M, SnowBaz, agatha visits, based off that laser tag au tumblr post, set after the end of Carry On
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-05
Updated: 2018-10-05
Packaged: 2019-07-25 12:03:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,718
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16197152
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/poeticnuisance/pseuds/penelopebuncesglasses
Summary: Agatha visits from America, Penny has an amazing idea and Simon and Baz are making out (again)





	shove me, kiss me, shoot me

Based off that Tumblr post about a laser tag au

When Penny burst through the door of her apartment, a cautious Agatha in her wake, she was immediately confronted with a red-faced Simon and a flustered Baz sitting on the couch. Although Simon's top button was undone, and Baz's hair was completely dishevelled, they had both jolted apart from each other with their hands held up. They weren’t fooling anyone – both of their mouths were red and swollen.  
Penny rolled her eyes. At this point, she had just accepted it as part of the living-with-Simon package. Agatha, though, was awkwardly looking at her feet in the doorway, not meeting the pair's eyes. Her ex-crush and get ex-boyfriend. Snogging. It was going to take some getting used to. She dumped her suitcases on the floor.  
"Get off each other, you lovesick idiots, and say hi to Agatha," Penny snapped, although she was grinning widely. "Baz, can you go get the other bag of groceries from the car? And then come inside - I've had the greatest idea ever," Penny's glasses were slipping down her nose in excitement, her newly-blue hair bouncing around her shoulders.  
Rolling his eyes, Baz stood up and nodded at Agatha before trudging past her and outside.  
Simon's wing fluttered and folded around him as he squeezed Agatha tightly in a hug.  
"We missed you, Ags," he whispered. Simon was one hundred percent, completely head-over-heels for Baz, but his heart swelled as he smiled at Agatha. You don't date someone for two years and be their friend for seven and then just forget about them because they got a dog and moved to America.  
He laughed shyly and crossed to the kitchen where Penny was jittering with excitement.  
Simon's tail whipped around as he sat down, curiously glancing at Penny. She was wearing a slightly manic grin, the air around her practically fizzing with excitement. Whatever this idea was, she needed to get it out soon.  
Luckily, Baz walked back in, slung the groceries on the counter and his arm around Simon just as Penny was reaching boiling point.  
"Come on then, Bunce. Spit it out," he laughed, leaning over the counter.  
Penny flung her arms up. "We should play laser tag! All four of us!"  
She beamed, clearly proud of herself.  
Simon made finger guns and began shooting her. "Not bad, Penny. Sounds awesome. Baz, what say you?" He spun around in the chair, grinning up at the vampire.  
Baz pretended to scowl. "I don't know. Wellbelove, thoughts?"  
Agatha looked at all their faces and shrugged.  
"Could be fun," she said, tentatively smiling.  
"TO THE ARCADE!" Penny yelled, clambering over the counter, groceries forgotten in the excitement. 

*****

The four of them piled out of the bus, laughing. Agatha was quiet, but an easy sort of quiet. It felt like she had been gone three days, not three months, and although everything had changed, she almost liked it better this way. Penny was carefree, Baz wasn't such an arse. And Simon, she thought, looked so happy. His smile seemed brighter and his eyes were sparkling, and she noticed that he was never more than two centimetres away from Baz. She couldn't find it in herself to be jealous when he was looking up at the vampire with such love in his eyes.  
Penny paid, insisting that she had dragged them all here and no Agatha, you did not haul yourself to London just to empty your wallet.  
"Party of four, please! Laser tag," she told the teenager behind the counter. He looked up at the group, bored.  
"You'll be put in a game with other people - your group isn't big enough. Is that okay?"  
Penny nodded, and then turned to the others, rubbing her hands together with glee.  
"Who's ready to kick some butt?" 

They waited about ten minutes for the next game of laser tag to start. Penny was playing air hockey with a complete stranger while the other three were talking. Simon sat on Baz's lap and Agatha was leaning on the wall across from them.  
"So, how's school?" She asked shyly.  
Simon, in a typical manner, sprung into an animated recount of the last few months at university. Baz just listened, running his hand up and down Simon's leg and laughing at the appropriate moments.  
When the loud alarm sounded to tell them to move into the briefing room, Agatha was genuinely smiling. She had missed being friends with Simon Snow. 

The same greasy teenager from behind the counter was holding a gun and droning on about safety and the rules.  
Of course, Simon wasn't listening. Since when had he followed the rules? Still, he made sure to learn how to win. That's the part he cared about.  
When the boy had finally stopped talking, the four of them and the twelve others playing that round rushed to get their packs, yanking the different coloured guns off the walls and strapping the sensors on their chests. Simon grabbed the nearest one and turned to face Baz.  
His chest was glowing red, while Simon's was green. He pouted.  
"Ba-aabe, you were supposed to be on my team! Now we have to fight each other," he whines, falling dramatically into the other boy's shoulder.  
Baz smirked. "Just like old times, I guess, Snow,"  
Simon frowned.  
Rolling his eyes, Baz leaned down and wiggled his eyebrows.  
"Let's make this a real competition then, huh? Winner gets anything he wants?" He curled his arm around Simon's waist, tugging him closer.  
Simon grinned. "Anything?"  
"Anything," Baz whispered into Simon's ear.  
Penny groaned, her gun flashing red. "Come on, idiots. The game's about to start!"  
The lights all shut off right as she said that, and a voice came over the loudspeaker.  
"You have ten minutes to fight, shoot and battle your way to victory. The game starts in 3...2...1..."  
"NOW,"  
Smirking, Baz slunk off into the shadows, Penny trailing behind, waving evilly at Simon and Agatha.  
Simon immediately turned to face her.  
"Let's do this, Ags. We can't let them win, you know we'd never live it down. You go after the base, I've got another idea," he said, holding up his hand for a hi-five.  
"We're gonna smash them," 

*****

It was dark, quiet and creepy. Basically, Baz was right at home. He could hear the noises of guns firing and feet running, but in the echoey maze of the arena, they sounded far off. Bunce had run off somewhere, and Baz was scanning the halls for any green lights.  
His vampire senses came in handy sometimes.  
He managed to shoot a couple of strangers, cursing, who scuttled off to a new hiding spot once they'd been caught, but the one person Baz was looking for wasn't anywhere to be seen.  
Probably because he was behind him.  
Simon grabbed Baz by his shoulders, spinning him around and drawing him close. They were too close together for Baz to reach his gun, but the vampire wasn't thinking about that anymore. Not with Simon's wonderfully tousled hair and glowing face so close to his own.  
Snow pushed him roughly against a wall, tucking his fingers through the loops in his sensor pack and slotting their legs together.  
Baz closed his eyes.  
Simon leaned in closer, brushing their lips together before twisting his head and sucking lightly at the pale skin on Baz's neck.  
If he wasn't already dead, Baz would have sworn his heart stopped. He growled, low in his throat and slid his hands up the back of Snow's shirt, pushing them closer together. Simon groaned, and looked up, straight into Baz's dark eyes.  
Their mouths crashed together, and Simon bit Baz's lower lip as he pulled his fingers through his black locks, tugging lightly and drawing another beautiful moan from the vampire's lips. Simon broke off the kiss, breathing heavily.  
His hand crept back behind his back, and as he leaned back down to suck on Baz's collarbone, his hand wrapped around his gun.  
Simon smirked against Baz's neck and he pushed him roughly back into the wall again, drawing his gun and shooting him point blank in the chest. The flashing red lights on Baz's sensors went black.  
Simon turned around and walked away through the maze, grinning and blushing.  
Baz was too shocked to react. He just stood against the wall, feeling Simon's absence and amazed at his boyfriend. His incredibly sexy boyfriend, who had just shoved him against the wall, snogged him like a maniac and shot him. Baz was now not only in shock but more than a little hot and bothered.  
He sighed, waiting for his flashing lights to turn back on again. It would be a miracle if he won this game now. 

***** 

The green team had won. What a surprise. Simon and Agatha did a little happy dance and handshake (when did they have time to make that up?) and Penny and Baz were sulking as they sat on the bus to get home. Baz hadn't slept at his own flat in at least two weeks. Penny kept threatening to make him pay rent, but Baz told her he was paying his dues to Simon in a more unconventional way. Penny would roll her eyes and smirk.  
Right now, she was looking strangely at him.  
"What is it now Bunce?"  
She raised her eyebrows. "That hickey wasn't there at the beginning of the game, Pitch. Could it have something to do with our abysmal defeat?"  
Baz glanced down at the purple love bite on his collar, cursing Simon under his breath as he adjusted his shirt. He muttered a half-assed excuse about tripping over during the game.  
Penny nodded, her eyes wide and disbelieving.  
"Sure thing, man. You tripped and landed on your neck. Happens to the best of us,"  
She was very clearly trying not to laugh. 

***** 

As it turns out, losing wasn't so bad anyway. Baz laughed endlessly about Simon's one wish - which was not, you dirty-minded souls, anything sex-related, no - Baz was forced to sit through all of the Twilight movies. Although he would never admit it, he didn't hate them. He also didn't hate the shirtless, attractive actors running around onscreen, but never mind that.  
Maybe Penny was right - laser tag was a pretty great idea.

**Author's Note:**

> hi! thank you so much for reading and i hope you liked my first fic! i love you so much!


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